This Season Think Sentiment, not Stuff

Where could they possibly store all these lights???

Back again is Peter Walsh, Oprah's organizing whiz, and he is focusing on creating a clutter free holiday. Now I can't promise the holidays will be totally relaxing, perfect and stress free, but he gives great advice in this month's  The Oprah Magazine  on how to tone down the expectations and get what you  really want out of the season. He starts by asking us this question- "What do I want from the holidays?" Not "what do I need for this holiday?" If you set aside time to think about this, most will answer they just want to be with family, friends, for relaxation and reconnection! Here are some tips on how to focus more on the moments instead of the stuff!

1. De-decorate- I love this- don't get me wrong, hanging lights and trimming the tree are family traditions we all enjoy each year, but we have to set a limit on the collecting and displaying of decorations. Peter says we gather more decorations each year, but fail to filter out what we no longer use or what is outdated. Most of us shove all of it back in the bins and boxes when the holidays are over and promise to deal with it next year- does that happen? After you have finished garnishing the house and tree this year- take anything unused and donate. Ornaments can be used at hospitals and Senior centers. Also don't be afraid to let go off items that have seen better days- your holiday spirit will not be reduced!!

2. Don't hold on- pass on- We hold on to many family mementos, but often they end up in storage instead of being displayed and enjoyed. Why not pass on items to family members that would be able to house them properly! You will gain enjoyment watching a loved one enjoying the gift. Family heirlooms will then be passed down and more generations will have a chance to learn about past family members and events. Now is a great time to give precious items you have been holding on to.

3. Share the warmth- It's that time of year to take a hard look at your closet- the coat one! I try to do this every year around late October when we have a chilly day and try on cold weather items to see what still fits or anyone still wants. The coat closet probably holds a few non-essential items that could be donated to people who need some warmth this winter. You will open space in your closet and feel good about giving, especially now with Hurricane Sandy victims in need of so much. Your local goodwill should be the place or check with your town's  family services too.

4. Talk now and buy later We all get anxious thinking about gift giving- who should we buy for? how much should we spend? etc. Peter suggests setting some ground rules- early. Discuss it with friends and family over thanksgiving and make suggestions- Maybe this year its secret Santa or just gifts for kids. For friends, it can be something homemade or set a spending limit- talking about different ideas will end second guessing and frees us up to be more creative.


5. Give the gift of time- This is my favorite idea- time is so precious and hard to come by so if you can set some aside and spend it with friends and family- going to dinner, movies, a show, even out for coffee or shopping the memory of a shared experience will be cherished. It will mean much more then a present -and everyone really benefits. Last year's gift is long forgotten so make this year's really memorable for all!!

Tis the season.. to stress

This time of year can bring a lot of mixed feelings- excitement and anticipation of the fun  we will experience with friends and family over the next month, but don't be surprised if you also feel tension taking over. Nearly half of all women will feel overwhelmed with all there is to do- shopping, cooking, cleaning, wrapping, decorating, ahhhh! Anyone could use a little help to regain their calm and it does not have to take long. These quick activities featured in O The Oprah Magazine this month offer all you will need- the right choice can bust stress which always makes anyone more organized!!


1. Chew gum ( 10 minutes) gum chewers feel less anxious and have less cortisol in their saliva. It's a great distraction! So while you are waiting in a long checkout line, pop in a piece and hum along to the Christmas tunes.

2. Brew some tea (12 minutes) If you are out running around on a thousand errands a hot drink can keep you motivated and calm- chemical compounds in this antioxidant beverage may relax us as we deck the halls!

3. Massage (15 minutes) If you are running in to get a manicure, a quick chair massage is a smart add on- a friend of mine always does this and says it is well worth it! The at home approach is another effective choice- roll a tennis ball over tired muscles and get a similar effect!

4. Writing (20 minutes) If you need to vent- write it down! Putting your feelings on paper appears to organize your thoughts and release negative emotions. 

5. Rock out! (30 minutes) This is almost a nightly ritual at our house- dinner is cooking, but not quite ready and the kids are antsy, but the music makes the tension melt. Music can elicit positive emotions and reduce stress levels. Boost your mood even more by dancing along! (Make sure you have music you love in the car too for those road trips)

6. IPhone Break (45 minutes) If you have a long list and need to check it twice, but your phone won't stop buzzing- leave it in the car. Constantly checking email and texts puts people on constant high alert with heart rates that indicate stress. Give your self a break so you can focus and finish tasks.

7. Clean house (60 minutes) This may be the last thing you want to do, but getting into a rhythm of folding clothes or vacuuming can disrupt stressful thought patterns and trigger the body's relaxation response. Even organizing a drawer can make you feel relaxed and ready to enjoy this season!